Keeping A Nanny Long-Term

The relationship your child has with their nanny is one of the most important relationships that your little one will experience in their early life, outside of family. Your child will come to view their nanny as their caretaker, teacher, role model, and friend. A lot of trust and companionship will be shared between them, and this is why it is so important to keep your nanny in your child's life long-term. My Girl Friday understands the importance of long-term nannies, and we help find the right match each and every step of the way!With little ones, it's often true that consistency is key. This idea is especially true when it comes to who is caring for your child. The more consistent you are with caretakers, the easier it will be for your child to accept this person as a trustworthy presence in your absence, and enjoy their day without separation anxiety. Eliminating the element of surprise when it comes to caretakers will decrease both your stress about leaving your child, and your child's stress about separating from their parents.

So, how can you ensure a long-term relationship with your nanny? Here are some key points:

• Be confident in your nanny! Your child can easily pick up on any hesitations you have with your nanny, even at a young age. Children are very perceptive, especially when they're unsure about a new situation or person, and they'll often look to you for clues. If you're second guessing your nanny's ability to care for your child, you may unknowingly be passing that doubt onto your child. Instead, it's a good idea to show your little one that you're confident in your nanny and they should be, too! You can do this by saying a proper goodbye to your child, followed by a quick and drama-free departure. Prolonging the goodbye process could be a signal to your little one that you're uneasy leaving them, which is not how you want to get the day started.

• Give your nanny some space and trust that she will update you when the timing is appropriate. It's completely understandable that it puts your mind at ease to check in on your little one while you're away, but calling or texting your nanny several times a day is disruptive to her time with your child, and their activities together. Instead, have confidence in your nanny that she/he will contact you immediately if you're needed, and in the meantime, no news is good news. However, if you can't get through your day without updates about your child, you can schedule a designated check-in time with your nanny during lunch or nap time to avoid disruptions during activities or driving time.

• Don't forget to communicate with your nanny! After a long, challenging day at the office, it's easy to forget a point you've been meaning to bring up with your nanny. Don't let fatigue get the best of you! Write down questions or comments you may have for your nanny so they're not lost during the commute from downtown Raleigh back home to Cary, or vise versa. When you and your nanny can discuss these points, it's a good idea to brainstorm as a team and come up with solutions together, rather than lecturing your nanny or making her feel unappreciated for her hard work caring for your child. Also, these conversations are best held in person, face to face, rather than through text or by phone. Let your nanny know that she/he can always come to you with questions or concerns as well. Keeping the lines of communication wide open will go a long way is keeping the peace, long-term!

• Insist on giving your nanny a raise every year she agrees to continue caring for your children. Whether you keep the pay the same and give more vacation time, increase her hourly pay or salary, or require less hours in the work week for the same pay- don’t lose sight of the fact that consistency and commitment should be valued and rewarded in this position. When you fail to do this, your nanny may feel undervalued. She may also feel that she needs to take a new position to make an increased rate of pay. Let’s try to keep our nannies for 3-10 years! Let My Girl Friday help you negotiate year-end raises! Don't worry, we'll check in with you about it!

• Let your nanny know when she’s doing a stellar job! It’s easy to only bring up the negative when you need to give feedback. Nothing motivates communication quite like frustration or anger. Make sure that you reach out to him/her when they do a GOOD job as well. Did your nanny fold an extra load of laundry for you? Did she organize your linen closet? Are the closets color coded and spotless? Did your child learn a new word? Did she take them out for a new and creative experience that you appreciate? Tell her how wonderful she is for doing this! That way, if anything negative comes up, she won’t get too down on herself about it. She’ll know that despite the negative feedback, she’s a great nanny and you love her and want to work with her for a long time.

• Remember: people who feel appreciated always do more than what is expected! Great words to live by.

Follow these simple steps and you're well on your way to a happy, successful, long-lasting nanny relationship! My Girl Friday prides ourselves on finding just the right match for every family needing nanny care in the Triangle, and also for providing top-notch support for both the families and the nannies. We'd love to hear from you! If you have a question or need help finding a nanny, please reach out to us and let us know how we can help!

By: Diane Schiff