May 14th

Oh no. It’s here again…looming just around the corner. Soon, social media will be flooded with soft-focus images of small, serene children holding hands and smiling like they are at heaven’s gate, and flowery messages and poems written in Curlz. Restaurants are already filling up their reservation spots (have you called yet? Uh Oh), and florists are battening down the hatches. Stores are overflowing with cards, chocolates, fluffy bears and porcelain figures. Women everywhere have that sixth sense of dread in the pit of their stomach. What could it be?

Oh yeah.

Mother’s Day.

Of course, it’s not that they don’t love being a mom, but when you feel like you are a zombie among the living because of the past - how long has it been? - of 1, 3, and 5 a.m. feedings, it’s hard to bask in the serenity of motherhood. Maybe it’s the reality that the kids’ bickering will only be on hold for a few hours and then it’s game on as soon as the sun rises (Duck season! Rabbit season! Duck season! Rabbit season!). It could be their first time as a single mom, and they know this year just won’t be the same. It’s safe to say that many approach Mother’s Day with quiet apprehension.

You may already know that the national day we now celebrate is one that is very removed from the founder’s original vision. Anna Jarvis, the strongest proponent of Mother’s Day (1^st celebrated in the early 1900’s), was famously anti-commercialism. Jarvis’ lifelong hope, and fight, was that her day would never be used by others to turn a profit.

Well, we all know how that turned out. So how can we celebrate a day that has been taken over by “charlatans” and “racketeers” as Jarvis labeled the card companies (and everyone else), without appearing trite or cliché? We want to honor the amazing achievement of motherhood while acknowledging that this doesn’t mean it’s always amazing to be a mom. It’s also important to honor motherhood in all its forms and variations, and there are many!

‍Avoid trying to make the day perfect.

‍Let’s face it, there are very, very few perfect days in life, and the ones that are perfect usually have not been planned, but are delightfully spontaneous. Being a mother is a dynamic and inexact state of being. The reality is, diapers will still need changing, siblings will bicker, food can burn...in other words, life doesn't stop for Mother's Day. Be prepared for life to happen, and enjoy the day for whatever surprises or chaos it brings. The joy in being part of a family is spending time with others who are comfortable with our humanity, after all. We check our perfect images at the door!

‍Remember that this day is not just about moms.

‍Anna Jarvis never had children. This day, for her, wasn’t just about her mom, it was about Anna. It was her opportunity to honor who her mother was in her life. Mother’s Day, of course, is also about mother figures, and those who embody all the characteristics of a kind and loving momma in our lives. It could be a grandmother, an aunt, or someone who was just there for us when we needed them. It’s also about our kids. We can help young children practice empathy by giving back and doing kind acts for those women in their lives who mean so much to them. Pssst…it can also be a great time to practice, for those who never stop giving of themselves, how to receive.

‍Be sensitive.

‍Some may not have a mother they celebrate with. Some may have had a momma who has passed away. For some, this can be a very painful day due to the loss of a precious child. For some, they dread this day coming. Be thoughtful. Check up on your loved one and give them the always-precious gift of your time. Offer a hug and a listening ear. Have a conversation about ways to bring joy into the day by helping them to honor those who they have lost. Or, if they request it, respect their privacy, and remind them that you are there if they need you.

‍It doesn’t have to be spectacular.

‍Mother’s Day is definitely not a one-size-fits-all. Encourage loved ones to get creative. Sure, lots of moms love a nice meal out, but maybe your honoree would rather kick up their feet and not have to dress up and be picture perfect. Homemade cards, chore “checks,” plant-able flowers from the garden supply store, and so many other ideas are wonderful gifts straight from the heart (remember, not having to plan a meal or do the dishes is also a gift!). If you ask what she wants to do, and she says, “Oh, I don’t know, anything would be nice,” don’t consider yourself doomed. This is a great opportunity to flex your imagination and tailor the day uniquely just for her.

Happy Mother's Day!

‍

Leanne Powell, 2017