Monday Madness Job Creep | Your nanny is quitting because of it.

Let’s get real about Monday madness job creep. Your nanny is quitting because of it and it’s time we take a hard look at both sides of this conundrum- because oftentimes, there are great people on both sides and the struggles faced are real, raw, and well intentioned.

Last week your nanny called us to say they feel like they are first on the scene after a tornado has swept through your home when they walk in the door on a Monday morning. The wreckage is gasp worthy. The kitchen is overflowing with the remnants of chicken nugget lunches, pans from the fun meals you’ve prepared over the weekend, miles of tupperware containers, crusty granola coated bowls, and bottles galore. The playroom was a whole different chapter… but part of the same book, if you get the drift.

-on the flipside-

Last week your employer called us and with a shaky voice (close to tears) and told us that they are exhausted and scared that they are dropping the ball on spending time with their kids as they prioritize their work and careers. “Am I missing all the important moments? Am I working just to pay for a nanny to enjoy the true joys of my kids’ childhoods? It feels like my spouse is my roommate and we live for the kids. I am always cleaning on weekends and don’t have time to take the kids anywhere. The laundry is endless. I’m terrified I am messing up these precious childhoods. What am I doing wrong? I feel like I am dropping all the balls.”

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Nanny, We’re so sorry. Walking into the messes is never fun. Two hours of cleaning as you ease into the joys of an already tense Monday morning is HARD, especially when the messes aren’t yours. We know this can feel like a slap in the face for someone who is delicately and thoughtfully making sure that their employers don’t inherit any messes when you clock out for the day on a Friday.

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Families, We see you. You are prioritizing the moments that matter and you’re leaning into the philosophy that a clean home is the sign of a wasted life. You’re engaging with the kids and reveling in the few moments you have with them on a weekend and you’re recharging and resting in the evenings and during naptime. Life is a grind. The messes will never end. The moments are what matter.

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BUT WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE? We don’t want your nanny to feel overwhelmed and unsupported, and we don’t want to jostle your weekend flow. Here are a few ideas we have for meeting in the middle:

• Make a new routine for Sunday evenings. Family taco night with a dance party and some coloring book time afterward? Plop those coloring books down at the kitchen table and do a big first pass on the kitchen. Soak the granola bowls. Load the dishwasher. Unload the dishwasher if you can. This way the kids feel like they are part of the flow and you’ll feel connected as you invest in getting ahead of the mess.

• Unloaded dishwashers are a love language. IYKYK. If you can unload the dishwasher before your nanny walks in the door on a Monday, just know that the universe thanks you and every nanny on the planet earth is cheering you on. Thousands of invisible gold stars are being poured all over you as you do so and the hum you hear is the fingerclapping from nurturers everywhere who are grateful for the effort. This action alone makes the dishes in the sink a totally different experience and cuts the shock of the inherited mess on a Monday.

• If the kids are old enough to help, make Sunday evening clean up a chore for them. Hey, (as with most things in life) if you can outsource it, do it. This keeps kids engaged in the functioning of the home and aides in making sure they are functional adults.

• Reset the way you think about Monday mornings. Putting an hour in on the back end of the weekend will help morale on your family team and it also sets a tone for how you’d like to inherit the captain’s seat as your nanny clocks out for the day.

• Apologize and acknowledge. “Good morning, Sarah. I am so sorry I had to leave a giant mess. I really appreciate you today. Thanks for loving us. I’ll make sure next Monday is easier on you.” Stand in the mess with the nanny and acknowledge the elephant in the room. You’ll be surprised how much this helps. Make a conscious effort to ensure every Monday doesn’t suck.

• Bonuses, gifts, and thoughtful words help. Are you remembering to recognize your nanny’s hard work during the week? It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the month and sometimes you need to fill the love bucket with a small bonus (think- cash, a coffee shop giftcard, a thoughtful gift). Remember: these are nurturers and they enjoy the love.

Nannies, hang in there. Communicate before the burn out is upon you. Your employers (9/10 times) are really trying and their number one priority is their kids and keeping the continuity in their home. They (most often) have no idea you’re frustrated or have any idea that their actions are impacting you. TELL THEM before handing in your notice. Then (at least) they have the opportunity to course correct and make some adjustments before you’re on your way out the door. Feedback will also help them make sure they don’t lose another nanny to this same issue in the future.

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We love you all and hope this helps. Creating meaningful, longterm relationships is our passion and we hope this blog makes an impact.

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Love, The My Girl Friday Team