Hey Triangle Parents, Caregivers, and Agencies: This is NOT ok.

Margaret Macfarlane

February 5, 2024

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5 min read

This week I was kicked off a local nanny board for posting a job listing with “Black Lives Matter” on the hiring ad. This board serves 3.7k+ families, nannies, and caregivers in Chapel Hill/Carrboro/and Durham and we’ve been members for quite some time. We’ve posted countless positions on their page.

When I realized I had been blocked, my heart broke. I reached out to the admin immediately to ask why this had been done- and I even asked if I had offended them in some way. I was ready to chat through the reasoning with her. I was ready to discuss things with an open mind and heart. She didn’t respond- but instead, blocked me. Assuming I was blocked because I added the ‘Black Lives Matter’ copy to the ad (because everything else about the post has been consistent with my previous ads) her actions seem unfair and unwarranted.

During a time when so many community leaders and businesses are standing up to learn, to listen, to apologize, to donate, to protest, to show support and solidarity, it breaks my heart that there are people among us (in our town, in our communities, in our industries) who stand for the exact opposite—who do not believe people should be treated equally regardless of race or ethnicity. It breaks my heart that some may not even be able to stomach the sight of the phrase Black Lives Matter on a job board post for a loving family.

Over the last few weeks we’ve been going 1000mph. We’ve protested. We’ve donated. We’ve put together action plans for our businesses. We’ve watched documentaries. We’ve apologized. We’ve changed the way we think. We have a lifetime of changing and learning to do.

In this moment, I realized my sadness and frustration are just a minuscule fraction of the pain that white people (well-meaning and not, Democrat and Republican) cause accidentally, ignorantly, and purposefully to the black community, every day. I am embarrassed that I have not fully understood the privilege that being white affords me. I have witnessed various forms of racism thousands of times in my life and simply did not register them. I did not have to, because they were not directly affecting me.

I’m sorry this is happening everywhere. I am sorry there are people in our community that are not supporting the Black Lives Matter movement… the movement for equality. I’m sorry there is a community board that isn’t inclusive of families who are boldly saying that Black Lives Matter. This isn’t a Democrat vs. Republican issue… this is a humanity issue.

We choose our politicians, our bosses, our partners, our friends, and our mentors. We choose which businesses we support. We choose the books, music, and art we consume and share with our families. We need to make better choices. We need to educate ourselves on who we are choosing to represent us, who we are choosing to give money to, who we support, and whose communities we want to take part in. I am going to be choosing more carefully from now on. I invite you to join me. It’s time to wake up. It’s time for change.

Three inclusive, loving, incredible community childcare boards (for families, caregivers, and agencies):

I’ve just launched a new resource for Chapel Hill + Carrboro residents.